Bonanza

  • “I saw ‘Bonanza’ over at my in-laws and it was not for me. The Ponderosa looked fake. Hardly recognized Little Joe.” —Diner, 1982
  • “I’m gonna tell you something. ‘Bonanza’ is not an accurate depiction of the West . . . You ever see the show? It’s a 50-year-old father with three 47-year-old sons. You know why they get along good? ‘Cause they’re all the same age.” —Tin Men, 1987
  • “You know, when I saw ‘Bonanza’ the other day, something occurred to me. There’s those three guys living on the Ponderosa and you never hear them say anything about wanting to get laid. You never hear Hoss turn to Little Joe and say ‘I had such a hard-on when I woke up this morning.’ You know . . . they never talk about broads . . . nothing. Ya never hear Little Joe say ‘Hey, Hoss, I went into Virginia City and saw a girl with the greatest ass I ever saw in my life.’ Ya just see ‘em walking around the Ponderosa saying, ‘Yes, Pa,’ and ‘Where’s Little Joe?’ Nothing about broads. I don’t think I’m being too picky . . . at least once if they talked about getting horny. I don’t care if you’re living on the Ponderosa or right here in Baltimore, guys talk about getting laid. I’m beginning to think that show doesn’t have too much realism.” —Tin Men, 1987
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