Flashback Blues

Description of James Taylor concert, 2001, Walnut Creek Amphitheater, Raleigh, North Carolina (author unknown)

Surrounded by dull, obnoxious yuppies, old blue hairs, bored college students and hyperactive kids. Everybody’s got a cell phone. We’re looking for a patch of grass to lay our blanket but they’ve oversold the lawn seats again and everybody’s packed in like sardines. We finally squeeze into a 4-foot by 4-foot spot next to a rapidly diminishing aisle. It’s standing room only behind us. An aging, sagging blonde next to me—who has had way too much to drink—starts dancing to a crappy song about a pineapple. She’s flailing her fat arms, spilling beer on my head and dropping ashes from her cigarette into my lap.

Let’s face it, the modern-day concert experience has gone to shit.

Now comes the tedious “Steamroller” bit where Taylor dances and struts around the stage like a rooster with its head cut off. I’m so sick of this fuckin’ song that I just want to head to the parking lot and puke my guts out.

As we make our exit, a bored limo driver asks us if it’s Taylor’s last song. “Hopefully,” I reply. He seems to find this very funny for some reason. I see no humor in it at all.


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